Navigating Birth Family Relationships & Openness

Navigating relationships with a child's original birth family or relatives can be nerve-wracking, heart-breaking and complicated, yet also poignant and beautiful. Children, once grown, often voice that staying connected to these family members is beyond meaningful, even if painful and disappointing. Nothing can take the place of knowing one's roots, identity and culture. Our job (which is tough!) is to support and keep them safe as they seek out and explore this connection. Please also reference our Adoptee & Foster Voices, Birth Parent Grief & Loss, Grandparents & Relative Caregivers, Incarceration, Siblings, Talking to Kids About Adoption, Foster Care & Other Hard Things, and Transracial Parenting pages for more resources.

"Regardless of how you feel, the most important part of talking to your child about his or her birth parents is LISTENING." ~Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker - author in ORPARC's library

"If clear, open communication about the child’s past (also including the birth family) is present before the child’s adolescence and is appropriate to the child’s age and development, the child will experience better psychological development, fewer behavioral problems and a higher level of wellbeing within the new family." ~Santona et al, 2022, Talking About the Birth Family Since the Beginning

Websites

Recommended Books & Articles

Openness & mediation-related Materials in ORPARC's library and DIGITAL library, including Openness Information Packet & Parenting Time Information Packet developed by ORPARC

ORPARC's Kinship/Relative Caregiver Related Resources
5 Tips for Better Communication in Your Open Adoption Relationships in 2016 by Melissa Giarrosso, adoptive parent
6 Factors to Consider for An Open Adoption by April Dinwoodie, adoptee
7 Considerations for Navigating Birth Family Relationships After Adoption by Margie Fink, foster adoptive parent
Adoptees on Open Adoption: I have all my pieces by voices of assorted adoptees
Benefits Of Open Adoption Ensure That No One – Children, Birth or Adoptive Parents – Usually Regrets Staying In Touch by Harold Grotevant
Birth-Foster Family Connections by Bright Spots - explains the concept of Comfort Calls
Connections Matter: Relationships are Important for Foster, Adopted Children by Debbie Riley & Ellen Singer
Helping Children & Youth Maintain Relationships With Birth Families by Kim Stevens, adoptive parent
The Hidden Hurdles & Benefits of Kinship Care and Adoption by National Council for Adoption
How to Establish Boundaries in an Open Adoption? by Jessica Heesch, adoptive parent
How to Honor Your Child's Birth Family by Tony Hynes, adoptee - author in ORPARC's library
How to Overcome Open Adoption Challenges by The Cradle
How Two Families are Navigating Open Adoption After Foster Care by Meg St.-Espirit, adoptive parent
Improving Open Adoptions by Lori Holden, adoptive parent
Families Rising
- Co-Parenting or Shared Parenting
- Facilitating Openness Can Benefit Children Adopted From Care
- Helping Children and Youth Maintain Relationships With Birth Families
- Helping Children Connect With Their Birth Parents
- Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency
Open Adoption Best Practice: Repairing the Corrective Emotional Experience of Separation Trauma by Jeanette Yoffe, adoptee - author in ORPARC's library
Open Adoption Grid: Adding a dimension to the open adoption spectrum by Lavender Luz, adoptive parent - author in ORPARC's library
Openness After Adoption by Dominique Arrington, birth parent
Openness in Adoption by PACT
Reach with Them: One Foster Mom's Story of Open Adoption by Creating a Family
Searching for Something by Rachel Shifaraw, adoptee
Talking About Birth Parents & Identity by Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker, adoptee - author in ORPARC's library
What Adoptees Want Adoptive Parents to Know About Adoption Reunions by Kim Yoonmi, adoptee
What Growing Up In An Open Adoption Has Taught Me by America Adopts
Why Openness? by A Nickel's Worth of Common Sense
Why Openness in Adoption is Essential: An Adoptee's Perspective by Morgan Boggess, adoptee

Culturally specific

Black and Brown and White-ish Make ... Family by Gita Gulati-Partee, adoptive parent
In the Trenches: A Conversation Between a Transracial Adoptee & Adoptive Mother Part I & Part II by Torie, adoptee & Pat DiMartile
Talking About Race - an ORPARC Resource page
Transracial Parenting/Cultural Diversity - an ORPARC Resource page

Videos & Podcasts

Adoption Unfiltered (videos + transcripts) - authors in ORPARC's library
Cultivating Openness in Your Adoption - A Conversation with Naomi Campbell by Adopting Podcast
The Honestly Adoption Podcast - authors in ORPARC's library
- Creating Positive Relationships with Birthparents
- Finding the Peace: One Man's Powerful Story About Finding His Biological Family with Willie Moore, Jr
Improving Adoptive & Birth Parent Relationships by Adopting Podcast
Life After An Open Adoption by The F Word (video)
The Story Under the Story with Ann Heffron by Robyn Gobbel (article + podcast) - author in ORPARC's library
What is the Inclusive Family Support Model? by Amara (video)
What is Open Adoption, Open Foster Care by Jeannette Yoffe, adoptee (video) - author in ORPARC's library

Featured Favorites

Openness by ORPARC Staff & en español

Delly Duck: Why A Little Chick Couldn't Stay With His Birth Mother by Holly Marlow

Lily's Story: A Little Girl's Journey Through Foster Care by Danielle Grace Ignace

Birth & Foster Parent Partnership by Children’s Trust Fund Alliance

We're All Not the Same, But We're Still Family by Theresa & Eric Fraser, adoptee

Parenting Time by ORPARC Staff & en español

The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption by Lori Holden, adoptive parent

The Story of My Open Adoption by Leah Campbell, adoptive parent