Grief & Loss

Regardless of even the best of intentions, the very act of a child coming into foster care or being adopted has roots in unspeakable grief and loss. This grief and loss then permeates the lives of everyone involved - for a lifetime - even if joy, recovery and resilience are part of the journey. More importantly, whether child or adult, everyone grieves differently and on their own timeline. By giving voice to grief, we give voice to growth. Please reference our Birth (First) Parent Grief & Loss, Celebrations, Holidays & Other Special Occasions, Couples & Caregiving, Infertility & Pregnancy Loss Grief, Resource Parent Grief, Talking About Adoption, Foster Care & Other Hard Things, Suicide & Self Harm Supports and Trauma pages for more resources.

Gain experts tips and perspectives for weathering grief and loss in this ORPARC Short Supports video below! View the entire Short Supports collection here including en español.

"We can't heal what we don't feel...the only way out of the pain is through the pain." ~Dr. David Kessler, international grief expert & author Finding Meaning, available in ORPARC's library

Websites

Center for Loss & Life Transition (search dropdown under the word Grief for resources)
Children's Bereavement Center - hosts free virtual groups!
Courageous Kids - grief support in Eugene
The Dougy Center & en español - Oregon-based
Eluna Network & en español
Foster Care & Adoption Resource Center
Grief - David Kessler
Grief Watch - Oregon-based organization founded by author of Tear Soup, available in ORPARC's library
Just Breathe - Salem-area support group for those who've experienced a loss due to suicide or overdose
Modern Loss
Mt Hood Hospice - Oregon-based and offers support groups for all ages
National Alliance for Children's Grief
New York Life Foundation & Bereavement
ORPARC's Resource pages
- Birth Parent Grief & Loss
- Couples & Caregiving (including divorce)
- Infertility & Pregnancy Loss Grief
- Resource (Foster) Parent Grief
- Single Parenting
Our House Grief Support Center & en español
Refuge in Grief & en español
Teenage Grief Sucks
What's Your Grief

Recommended Books & Articles

Grief & Loss related Materials in ORPARC's library, including Children's Materials, Information Packets, and Infertility-related Materials plus DIGITAL

Adoption Grief by Robyn Gobbel
Adoptive Parent Guilt & Grief by Natalie Kristeen
Alternative Altars: Honoring the Loss in Adoption by Martha Rynberg, for PACT, An Adoption Alliance
Ambiguous Loss Haunts Foster & Adopted Children by Jae Ran Kim, NACAC guest writer
As the Crow Flies. My Grief Over Feeling Lied to About My Adoption by Lisa MM Butler, adoptee
Celebrations, Holidays & Other Special Occasions - an ORPARC Resource page
Commons Signs of Grief by Grief Speaks
What Grief Looks Like For Children in Foster Care by Coalition for Children, Youth & Families
Are We Living in 'Grief Limbo'? How to Cope With Ambiguous Loss? by Beth Tyson, LLC - author in ORPARC's library
Grappling with Grief by Eileen Devine
Grief-specific webinars by Robyn Gobbel available in ORPARC's library!
Helping Caregivers Address a Parent's Absence by Generations United
Helping Children Recover from Grief: Support is Essential by Christen Shepherd & Lisa Highfield, NACAC guest writers
Helping Kids Grieve by Sesame Street Communities - includes video plus so many articles, activities & printables!
- Apoyo en la aflicciónen español por Sesame Street en las Comunidades - ¡incluye videos además de muchos artículos, actividades, e imprimibles!
How Infants Grieve by Kathleen K. Halverson
National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)
- Helping School Age Children With Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
- Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
- Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
Parent Checklist by Our House Grief Support Center
Post Adoption Depression - multiple articles!!
Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency by NACAC
The Shame of Death: And how I wanted nothing to do with my Mom's illness even before she was dying by Lisa MM Butler, adoptee
Slumberkins Books, Resources & Printables - for kids!
- Slumberkins Sprite Offer Comfort book, Slumberkins Fox Change books + Change/Transitions, Emotional Courage, Grief & Loss & Routines
Someone I Love Died Social Story by Autism Little Learners
Understanding the Losses that Foster & Kinship Kids Experience by Creating a Family
What's Your Grief - many resources & articles
- Talking to Kids
Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker, author in ORPARC's library
- Helping Your Infant or Toddler Cope With Loss and Preschooler
- Elementary Schooler, Middle Schooler and High Schooler

Culturally specific

The Grief in Queer Healing by Adam Cohen
Healing Trauma, Attending To Grief - Native Wellness Institute & Jillene Joseph (Aaniiih) by Grief Out Loud Podcast
Historical Trauma & Unresolved Grief by Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart, PhD (Lakota)
The Imposition of Black Grief by Nneka Okona
The Racial Grief Gap by Experience Camps
Thoughts on Black Grief by Adoptive Black Mom
Understanding Black Grief by Alexis Blue
Understanding Racial Grief & Trauma by The Grief & Trauma Healing Centre

Videos & Podcasts

Ambiguous Loss & Life Books with Beth Tyson, LLC on the Stable Moments Podcast - author in ORPARC's library
Between the Pain of One Set of Parents and the Joy of Another: An Interview with Angela Tucker - author in ORPARC's library (video)
Empathy vs. Sympathy by Dr. Brené Brown (animated video)
Ghost Kingdom (3 episodes) with Lavender Luz (podcast)
Grief & Loss in Adoption by Adoption Wise (some faith content) - authors in ORPARC's library (video)
The Ghost Kingdom Exposed: Betty Jean Lifton's Startling Revelations #adoptee Author Lost & Found by Jeanetically Speaking - author in ORPARC's library
Grief and Loss for Youth in Foster Care Adoption (video)
Grief is Part of the Fabric of Adoption by No Matter What (video)
The Invisible Suitcase by Child Bereavement, UK (short animated video)
No Matter What - videos from resource (foster), adoptive and kinship parents
Walking Through Grief After Foster Care (with Melissa Smallwood) by The Forgotten Initiative Podcast
We don't move on from grief. We move forward with it. by Nora McIrney, TedTalk
When Families Grieve and Helping Kids Grieve by Sesame Street - plus printables (video)

Featured Favorites

Grief in Foster & Adoptive Children & Families by Robyn Gobbel

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst & en español

A Safe Circle for Little U by Paris Goodyear-Brown

What's Your Grief?: Lists to Help You Through Any Loss by Eleanor Haley MS

The Sad Dragon by Steve Herman

A Parent's Guide to Managing Childhood Grief by Katie Lear

A Land Called Grief by Maddie Janes

Why Do I Feel So Sad? by Tracy Lambert

The Elephant in the Room: A Childrens Book for Grief & Loss by Amanda Edwards